bugging around to heal the broken heart

Assalamualaikum and Hello to all,

Tomorrow is eid, and i hate it!Only for these coming 3 years "la", but when i go back to Malaysia it will be a no to hate eid.hehehehehe. Okay, with a close relation to my family, this year i feel a big hatred to celebrate raya(malay word for eid) here. i wanna go back to Malaysia celebrate it with my family since all other 12 of my siblings will be home for tomorrow. in fact, they already there waiting for "takbir". Time zone here and there are different, central US is late 13 hours from Malaysia. So, now they are all breaking their last fast for this year's Ramadhan. Uya, don't hope anything impossible for you right now.

i just finish talking to them(technically) like a minute ago, the person who picked up my call was Ikhwan(my nephew). He hand over the phone to Kak Ami, i was still relax back then. And then, Kak Ami smell some suspicious fish hanging around the wall. hahahahaha. No, she suspected me crying walhal(malay word for but or anything have the same meaning to it) there wasn't ever a drop of water from my eyes. Then i heard kak ayu's voice. She said, "uya, don't cry, just be patient" . i tried hard to told her that i was not crying. Then she continues pampering me like a little girl sulked from her parents. As the sad feeling started to burst out, i move away my mouth from the mic. My heart felt numb, broken. It couldn't work when some pure water came out from eyes as if eyes know what is happening to the heart.

A lot of them(my family) take the phone to make me talk again. Arghhhhh, the water was irresistible that made me couldn't talk. it was the first time i cried that hard since i've been in the US. Until, mu mom picked the phone. Urgh, she made my heart burn, and i was ashamed to cry like that in the public(technically, iwas alone). i think it's okay being ignominious in front of my family. Still there's no single word came out. They didnt want to continue again and told me to call again, yeah right, like i will call after this. I hung out the phone and started to write.
This piece i've written is dedicated to them at home who i think will be reading this. i missed all of you guys.

p/s: i dont know why am i so hurt not be home this year for eid, like last year i didnt really hurt and enjoy being here, i'm confused right now!